Monday, August 19, 2013

Couples Dinner



Friday night was a beautiful summer evening, and we were invited to a friend's house for dinner and drinks on her lovely patio. We started the evening chatting away over some simple appetizers with a good glass of wine, moved to dinner at her gorgeous table setting and finished the evening with more wine by the fire.

As the evening progressed, I began to think about the dynamic that tends to occur at a couples dinner. Some nights may be different than others, but in our group, the dynamic tends to follow a predictable path. At the beginning of the evening we socialize as couples, talking about a wide range of topics, interesting to all. We will continue this at dinner and sit in the traditional male, female seating arrangement.

But, it's after dinner that the group dynamic changes and the couples separate into two groups. The men may decide to smoke a cigar by the fire, and the women may decide to remain at the table with another bottle of wine. The talk changes to different topics - less small talk and more deep discussion.

It is interesting how this dynamic occurs and I always wonder if this is the norm with other groups of friends, when couples get together. I feel like it is invariably a dynamic that occurs with a group that is comfortable with each other. When couples have become close over the years, there is an easiness and a rhythm where similar conversations are picked up again and again. The topics may be different in the two groups, but problems are solved and advise is given over the course of an evening. Does your group of friends follow this couples dynamic too?

Happy Monday!



  1. Yes, sounds like us too:) That's when you know you are comfortable with friends! Love the night fire! Have a blessed day dear Vicki, HUGS!

  2. That sounds like us too. But I always sit the women at one end of the table and the men at the other because I feel we've done enough socializing as couples during the cocktail hour.

  3. Exactly..except I don't think the couples remain "together" al long as you do. We split up during cocktail hour, back together at dinner then split up again!

    Sounds like a perfect evening. The weather was PERFECT this weekend!

  4. Couples Dinners are great. It give the girls some room for "girl Talk" and guys room for "guy talk" and still be close together. What you speak of sound normal! Fun too!

  5. I've never really thought about this before but it occurred to me that it depends on if we are dining at someone's house or if we are at a restaurant. We get together with the same 3 couples a lot. If we go to a restaurant, the gals will sit at one end of the table and the guys at the other. But if we are at someone's home, the table is mingled (couples mixed) and once seated we tend to spend the rest of the night there. At parties with larger groups, I do try to intentionally spend time chatting with lots of different groups rather than just sticking with the people I see most often.

  6. We dine with three couples often and we sit as couples, and then we we move away from the table, we tend to still stay mixed and not women in one group and men in the other. You dinner sounds delightful.

  7. We mix it up during cocktail hour. All together, but small girl and guy chats too. Dinner is together . . . and then breaking it up again . . .

    It does seem like when we are sitting together for dinner, everyone likes to be together, guys and gals and we all visit together. Hearty discussions too.

  8. Fun! I need to take the time to have couples over this fall...will keep my mind off the girls being gone.

  9. So true. Although with us, the women are usually tidying up the dinner. I have a group of g/fs - 4 of us - and they come for the weekends with their hubbies. Invariably we separate after a while for "girl time" while the boys sit around the fire or play a round of golf. Although couple time is important and enjoyable, the separate times are when the real "work" gets done.

  10. Well said..Interesting observation...In my instance, the women usually stayed in the kitchen..


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